


Everything

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-09
Updated: 2011-06-26
Packaged: 2019-01-19 23:03:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 16,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12420087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Stolen moments over the seven years at Hogwarts that brought them together.FINALLY NEW CHAPTER:)!!





	1. Brighter than Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

Brighter than Sunshine

April 2nd 1971, a day he  will never forget. He had been eleven for five days when his parents, after much begging and pleading, finally took him to Diagon Alley to buy the supplies listed in his Hogwarts letter. This meant his school robes, his first pet and, of course, his first wand. He recalled barely breathing for excitement. However, the reason he remembers this day is rather different. He will always remember it as the first day he saw her. 

            After being fitted at Madame Malkin’s, buying all his potion supplies at the apothecary, visiting Flourish and Blotts for his books and the owl emporium he and his parents were making their way up the cobblestone street to what he had been looking forward to all day, Ollivander’s fine wand makers. It was then that he saw her. Tall, gangly and maybe even a little bit awkward but surely the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.  The afternoon sunlight was shining golden and burnt orange on her auburn hair and her green eyes smiled in thanks at him as he held the door open for her. At that moment he knew he would not forget her.

. He saw her again months later on the platform in September. She did not notice him.

He saw her again on the Hogwarts Express. She did not remember him.

            

            The greasy little boy besides her in the compartment was talking reverently of Slytherin and she was listening with keen interest. This was his chance, if he spoke up she would surely remember him. She would surely be impressed by his choice of house, by his confidence and his certainty. 

She wasn’t. She and the boy left the compartment in haste. As they were leaving shafts of sunlight shone through the compartment window, illuminating her hair as she swept out the door way. 

She did not like him but this time she would remember him. The thought lit something in his chest. Shining within him, brighter than her fiery waves, brighter than the sparks that had issued from his wand in Ollivander’s, brighter even than sunshine.

_What a feelin’ in my soul, love burns brighter than sunshine._

-Brighter than Sunshine by Aqualung. 

A/N- Okay so this was the first of hopefully many little drabbles about James and Lily. I know it never mentions anything like this in the books but I kind of like the idea of James having seen Lily before Hogwarts, like how Harry met Malfoy? I had meant to include an owl for James in this but it didn’t really fit but hopefully will make it into later chapters. Anyways I hope you like this. The next one I am planning focuses from Lily’s perspective. Take care everyone! 


	2. Soft One

                                 

                                             Soft One

She didn’t understand him. He was arrogant and pompous and he drove her mad. He teased her and mimicked her and hexed other people just to get under her skin. She was proud and haughty with a temper to match her fiery hair colour. She ignored his antics and threw back scathing remarks at his attempts to humiliate her.

 She could not think of two people in the entire school who clashed more. So why on earth did he keep pestering her to go on a date with him?

She was not his usual type. She  wasn’t petite and she  wasn’t blonde but most of all, she did not adore him. The girls he usually dated were often a year younger, dainty petite things that tossed their golden locks around him with the same arrogance that he messed up his own black mop of hair. They worshipped the ground he walked on, fawning over his most recent quidditch victories and professing loudly that there was no one more handsome or more brilliant than he. Something she could never ever even think of doing. So why on earth would he want to spend any more time with her than was absolutely necessary?

She was the exact opposite of those girls. Where they saw his greatness, she could not get past his flaws. He simply couldn’t be serious.

She twirled a strand of her hair absent mindedly and stared out the window to the hazy grounds of the school. She knew professor McGonagall was explaining something, and that it was probably important but her mind was clouded with realization at the moment. It was a joke. James Potter didn’t want to date her. He wanted to humiliate her. He had descended to a new level of low, even for him. She felt a surge of annoyance at the thought of what would happen if she had been naïve enough to say yes. He would prance around the corridors proclaiming to anyone that would listen about how he had finally got one over on Lily Evans. She clenched her jaw at the mental picture running through her thoughts. It would never happen, she was on to him.

As such she decided she was going to turn around to give him a stern glare, for good measure. He would know that she knew what he was up to and hopefully he would give up on his plot to mortify her. She narrowed her eyes, furrowed her eyebrows and set her mouth in a straight line. It was the meanest look she could think of so she turned around and hoped she looked intimidating and not ridiculous. 

As she expected, he was already staring at her when she had turned around. However, it was not with the conceited smirk she was used to. It was a simple, sincere and maybe even endearing look. No one had ever looked at her that way before.

 Her grim expression faltered and was replaced by one of utter surprise. She turned around hastily just catching the last of MacGonagall’s lesson, breathing deeply to calm herself.

“All right everyone, I hope this review helped and I will see you in a week for your O.W.L. examination. If you have any more questions do not hesitate to come by my office. A good day to you all.”

                                                   ***

_You might be holding onto someone right but you don’t know it yet .And does the thought of that give you a fright? You second guessin’ it?_

\- ‘Soft One’ by Matthew Barber

 

AN- _Okay so I am not sure how I feel about this one yet. I realize that is it a little broken and maybe doesn’t flow as well as I would have liked but I wanted it to be representative of Lily’s thought process. Hopefully that effect came out the way it was supposed to. Any praise/criticism, but maybe not to harsh?,  is always appreciated. Take Care._

_LC._


	3. Lost

Lost

Moonlight was streaming through the  checkered windows, the tops of the ancient trees of the Forbidden Forest dancing in the cool fall breeze that swept the grounds, whistling through the castle

He was lying awake, the sounds of soft snoring and even heavy breathing around him soft and rhythmic. Yet he could not join them. He had tossed and turned for hours waiting for sleep to come but it had not. He lay awake staring up at the canopy taking in all of the sounds that night at Hogwarts brought, breathing them in enjoying being back in the Gryffindor tower and letting his mind drift  and dream about the next day…the first quidditch match of the year…Gryffindor had won  and one shining face stood out amongst the colourful crowd, green eyes alight…

However, his reverie was suddenly interrupted by a sob. So suddenly that he had been sure he had imagined it. When he heard it again, he was certain he had not and jolted out of bed and glanced at the old alarm clock beside his bed. It was three o’clock in the morning.

He gathered up his dressing gown and stepped softly across the room as not to wake any of the others, preparing himself for what was downstairs. Probably a first year, he thought, home sick and  missing their parents. He racked his tired brain quickly for words of encouragement to comfort the little eleven year old and sighed heavily as he turned down the stone staircase into the scarlet common room to act as any good head boy would.

There were no first years there but someone else sitting in one of the cushy armchairs by the dying fire. The green eyes from his dream staring up at him, but they were not lit up with pride. No, they were  puffy and red from crying, he could see her face was still wet with tears, so sad but still beautiful.

He paused for a moment feeling as though he had walked in on something deeply personal. In the six years he had known her, he had never once seen her cry. Nevertheless, his heart filled with remorse for the girl that had always hated him. His compassion overrode his thoughts of leaving her be. He tread gently across the room and kneeled in front of her.

“Lily? Lily, what’s wrong? Do you want me to leave?”

At these words she gave a muffled sob and buried her face in her hands, shaking her head. After a few moments she looked up, examining his face through watery eyes before she sighed softly.

“My mum. She’s really sick, she didn’t want to tell me but…”

At this moment he put his arms around her, taking her off the chair to sit on the floor with him. His uncertainty passed as she buried her head in his chest. He smoothed her hair while never knowing the shelter he was offering her. She listened to his steady heartbeat and reveled in the comfort it gave her. His steady pulse of life was calming and soothing in the face of death, what’s more was that it was beating in unison with her own.

                                                        ***

_When you feel like your done and the darkness has one, babe you’re not lost._

_When the world is crashing down and you cannot bear the cross ,I said, baby you’re not lost._

-‘Lost’ by Michael Bublé

Author’s Note- Okay so I think this is actually my favourite so far, which probably has to do with the fact the I LOVE this song. So much so in fact that I will probably use it again for a later chapter. So I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I think I might add a bit on to the last paragraph…I don’t know…we shall see. Anyways as usual, take care and happy holidays everyone.

Ps- Three chapters in one day. Can you tell I am procrastinating? 


	4. Teardrops of my Guitar

Teardrops on My Guitar

They were friends. It was okay, she was glad they were. Six years of childish bickering set aside to grow up and realize that as head boy and head girl they would just have to get along. She was surprised by how easy this came to them. He was forever surprising her with his maturity, his passion for the school she loved just as much. She was also taken aback by the fact that there did not seem to be any discomfort in this newfound amity. He had not mentioned her breakdown last month, he had not told anyone about her mum though, she did register the occasional glances of concern he sent her when her mind was off somewhere else.

She opened the heavy door into the great hall and found herself looking immediately to the Gryffindor table. Surely enough, he was there already and in the process of pouring ketchup all over his scrambled eggs. She laughed inwardly at the tradition as she sat down across from him and reached for the enormous plate of waffles.

“So Lily, are you excited for tomorrow?” he asked nonchalantly.

She didn’t have the faintest clue what he was talking about, probably some quidditch match or something.

“No, why?”

“Aw, C’mon Lily, it’s the first Hogsmeade weekend of the year!” He proclaimed, digging into his eggs with equal enthusiasm and successfully splattering ketchup all over the polished wood of the table. Lily did not notice. She was busy contemplating his words. How could she have forgotten? Would he ask her to go with him?  She propped her elbows up on the table and rested her head on her hands. He smiled at her.

“Lily?”

She could hear her heart pounding in her ears, this was it. Only this time when he asked, she wouldn’t say no. 

“Yes James?” she asked with her best attempt to flutter her eyelashes flirtatiously.

“You just put your elbow in a big blob of ketchup.”

“Oh, bugger…”

Apparently the eyelash fluttering was out.

“Alright there Evan? Why’s your elbow bleeding?”

Sirius had just come to join them, sitting down beside James and piling his plate high with scrambled eggs which he proceeded to douse in ketchup. Lily looked up blushing deeply.

“It’s, I just , it’s just ketchup”  she said, finally cutting into the waffle on her plate.

“Oh, uhm okay” he chuckled before turning to James, “So, are you looking forward to our double date tomorrow mate?” 

Sirius wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and James laughed and glanced over his shoulder at the Hufflepuff table. Lily jolted and spoke before she could stop herself.

“A date? You have a date to Hogsmeade tomorrow?”

“No Evans, a _double date_ with Katie Donovan and Olivia Diggory. What’s it to you?” Sirius said while he glanced over bemused.

“Nothing, I was just asking. Anyways, I left my Potions book upstairs so I’ll see you in class.” She mumbled.

She couldn’t remember what their replies were, just that she rushed out of the great hall as quickly as she could without knocking anything over.  She climbed the stone steps in the entrance hall two at a time, wondering why she had reacted that way.

She must be mad. That was not a normal ‘friend’ reaction. This was James Potter, her arch rival of the last six years, though more recently, her friend. Certainly the animosity between them had faded, especially since that night in the common room a few weeks ago. He had proved he could be her friend. She no longer felt any sudden urges to hex him when he smiled or talked to her.

 

Unfortunately, that did not explain what had just happened. In fact, Lily realized there were a lot of things relating to James Potter that she could not explain. Since they had decided to set aside their old grudges and become friends she had been turning to him a lot. When she had a problem, she could turn to him. He was rational, he was a good listener, a good friend. She thought about him often, maybe too often. She was running out of reasons to dislike him and she hated it. Even more, he was proving to be just as wonderful as everyone had always told her. 

So now that she didn’t hate him, why wasn’t he asking her out?

Lily scolded herself for thinking such a thing. 

Without her even realizing, her feet had carried her to the girl’s dormitory of the Gryffindor tower. She lifted the heavy comforter of her four poster bed and lay down, staring up at the canopy. 

She pulled the covers over her head like she used to when she was young and scared. Mainly because she was scared. She was finally realizing that the boy she had spent so much time ignoring and hating was the kind she had been waiting for and the fact that said boys was James Potter terrified her. 

                                                      ***

_He’s the time taken up but it’s never enough and he’s all that I need to fall into._

-“Teardrops on my Guitar” by Taylor Swift.

A/N- So a very different chapter. After the last one I thought I should probably do something a little humorous. And my sister said she wanted there to be more dialogue. So this chapter is written for her. Obviously this is set in seventh year, hence Lily finally starting to catch on to the fact that James is a pretty swell guy. There are also some very obvious ‘Commentarius’ references in here (which is also for my sister) so I do have to credit them to Beedaily and her wonderful story. Because I adore that story and the portrayal of Lily, which I think has a lot to do with the fact the we, Commentarius Lily and I, are rather alike in our red headed obliviousness. Anyways, so credit to Beedaily on that. I do hope you like this chapter:) Take Care All.

 No more procrastination! War and Conflict class readings- here I come!

LC.

Again with the flow of the story…there may be some revisions…. 


	5. Flowers in the Window

Flowers in the Window

The sun had begun to set into the distant hills, most of the students had begun to retreat through the great oak doors of the castle and take their places in the Great Hall for the end of term feast. A few stragglers stayed behind, mostly fifth and seventh years, relishing in the end of their exams. The next day they would all be heading home for the summer. Two months to relax and enjoy the hazy sunshine before returning on the Hogwarts Express in September.

She was sitting at the waters edge with her friends, they were dipping their toes in the water, watching the ripples that spread across the glassy surface of the lake when they wiggled their toes. He was sitting up by the old beech tree, snitch in hand. She hadn’t noticed. He didn’t really expect her to pay any attention to him after the incident that had occurred a couple days ago after the Defence Against the Dark Arts exam.  She hadn’t even looked at him when he sat near her in the common room, when he passed her in the halls or even when he was recounting his magnificent scoring abilities in the quidditch final at dinner the other night. She’d hardly paid any attention to him since she had turned him down. Naturally the solution to this was to go up to her and ask why.

So he sauntered down the green slope casually, hoping he achieving the careless air necessary for such a conversation.

“Hey Evans” he called.

She turned her gaze from the water to see who it was.

“Oh no, it’s you.”

“Yeah it’s me. Listen, why won’t you go out with me?”

“Pardon?”

She had stood up, her pants still rolled up with water droplets on her feet as she stepped towards him with determination. She had put her hands on her hips and was staring at him with the deepest loathing.

“What did you say to me Potter?”

“I was asking why you won’t go out with me. I’ve already asked you six times, you better say yes soon because I’m not going to ask forever. You just might miss your shot with me and we both know how much you’d hate that, eh Evans?” he winked at her and grinned.

“The only thing I hate is your arrogant big headed attitude. Why don’t you go and ask out someone who actually _likes_ you? Why don’t you ask out someone who can stand being around your egotistic banter?”

Was she kidding? Was she just playing hard to get? Obviously he could just go off and ask someone else instead. He knew lots of girls would love to be asked to Hogsmeade by him. He was the star of the Gryffindor quidditch team, he was one of the top students in their year and to top it off, he was a pretty all around swell guy if he didn’t say so himself. Sure, he could go off and ask out Elizabeth Bell or Olivia Diggory or even Elladora MacMillan. That wasn’t the point. The answer seemed quite simple.

“Because then I wouldn’t be going out with you. I want to go out with you” He said simply.

                                                               ***

“ _So just stand up out in the crowd, you are one in a million.”_

-‘Flowers in the Window’ by Travis

A/N- I don’t know who the heck I am kidding. I am so procrastinating. I called my sister tonight and she told me to write more. So here it is. I really really hope you like it. Also- expect many more Travis titles. I love them. Agh, okay take care everyone! Seriously this time, War and Conflict notes- here I come! 


	6. Here It Goes Again

Here It Goes Again

The last two weeks had gone relatively well. It was the first time in months that the 3rd year Gryffindor girls could remember not being pranked, traumatized or overall humiliated by the male counterparts, the 3rd year Gryffindor boys or as they preferred to be called, the Marauders.

Unfortunately the lack of the Marauder’s inaction was no comfort to the girls at all. If anything it just made them edgy, constantly waiting for the next attack. And Lily was certain that she was the next target. The first had been Melanie Brewster who had fallen asleep in the common room one evening after completing her transfiguration essay. She had woken up the next morning and gone down to the Great Hall for breakfast, only to find out that over the course of the night she had somehow grown a mustache. Mary MacDonald was the most recent. Lily wasn’t sure what had happened to Mary but she knew it involved Bubotuber pus and that Mary cried whenever someone asked her about it. That left Lily, Eva Thruston and Grace Abercrombie who hadn’t been fooled in a while and Lily was sure she was next.

It was lunch time and Lily was sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall with Melanie and Eva staring up at the enchanted ceiling in amazement. It was snowing and yet it was not, they could see the flakes falling from over head but it seemed to stop somewhere just past the tops of the enormous mullioned windows.

“Yeah, it’s a magical ceiling.”

Lily glanced up and glared. It was James Potter. Staring at them in condescending amusement, his henchmen behind him. 

“Not _everyone_ grew up in the wizarding world you know. Some of us are still pleased by the simple pleasures of magic.” She retorted.

His grin faltered at these words. He stepped forward waving his hands frantically.

“No, no that’s not what I meant. I was just joking with you is all.”

Lily gave him a look and turned back to her pumpkin juice.

“Honestly Lily, you really do have a temper to match that fiery hair of yours.”

“So now you are making fun of my hair as well?” she turned to Eva and Melanie, “I’ll see you in class.” 

With that she drained her goblet and marched past Potter and his friends and up to the Gryffindor tower. 

Later in the afternoon she traipsed downstairs and was of to Transfiguration. Professor McGonagall was at the front of the class straining to keep a straight face. That was when she noticed him. It _had_ been her turn. She couldn’t believe the nerve of him. Of course he would be the one to carry out the joke this time. Any doubts she had had about him vanished. Sev had been right about him all along. He was nothing more than a lousy toerag who made fun of others for his own amusement and she was his latest victim. She strained to keep her eyes from watering as she took her seat behind him, trying to look anywhere but straight in front of her.

For James Potter’s hair was now the precise shade of red as her own. 

                                                          ***

“ _I should have known, should have known, should have known again but here it goes again. Oh, here it goes again.”_

\- ‘Here it Goes Again’ by OkGo

A/N- So I had kind of a hard time with this chapter, I find them so much easier to write in their later years. Agh, so okay hopefully everyone enjoys this piece and hopefully you can envision something like this happening just as easily as I can. Take Care!

PS- Thank you all SO much for your wonderful reviews, it just encourages me to write more…so this chapter is for YOU:)

LC. 


	7. What's Good For Me

What’s Good For Me

The snow was falling gently on the grounds, swirls of white fleeted across the ground in front of her feet as she traipsed back to the castle under the darkening sky. She stomped pronouncedly through the snow, enjoying the crunch beneath her toes and the slender tracks she was leaving behind her.

She still had snow in her hair and on her lashes when she reached the seventh floor corridor. Brushing the melting snowflakes from her forehead, she rounded the corridor to where the portrait of the Fat Lady was, the entrance to the Gryffindor tower. As she moved her arm out of her line of vision she noticed something else in it. Two people, blocking the entrance to the Common room. Not just any two people and they were just blocking the portrait, they were procreating in front of it.

Okay maybe that was a bit of a stretch. But James Potter was standing smack dab in the middle of corridor his hands around her waist, her hands entangled in his hair, full out snogging Olivia Diggory.

Lily felt a fiery sensation building up in her stomach. It swelled inside her as she stood, gaping as they continued, oblivious to the fact that someone else had entered the corridor.  She inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself, hardly believing what she was seeing. She even blinked once or twice waiting for them to evaporate. After a few attempts she realized that they were in fact there, even if they still hadn’t noticed her.

She store purposefully down the hallway towards them.

“Excuse me.”

“Oh, I’m sorry Lily. I guess we just didn’t see you there.” Olivia blushed furiously as she watched Lily pass through the portrait.

Lily was glad the common room was empty. She needed time to think. She plopped herself down on one of the squishy sofas and opened her school bag and took out her books. She opened ‘Advance Potion Making’ furiously, smacking the cover on the table and grumbling to herself. Truth be told, she was fuming. How could he do that to her?

Certainly she knew that James had gone to Hogsmeade once or twice with Olivia but she never thought it was anything serious. Lily knew that she and James were just supposed to be friends. As his friend, she ought not to be bothered by his snogging other girls. However, in the last few weeks, their friendship had begun to move toward becoming something else, something more than friends. Lily was surprised by how quickly she had become used to him, how easy it was for her to talk to him, for her to spend time with him. Now she was surprised by how jealous she was. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t like Olivia. Olivia had to be one of the nicest girls in their year. She was always cheerful and smiling, her honey colored curls constantly bouncing with enthusiasm. She wasn’t completely daft either, she was nice and smart and likable. She and Olivia generally got along very well. Had it been nearly anyone else she imagined that it would have been much easier to stomach. But truth be told, Lily knew that Olivia’s golden curls were the perfect match for the golden boy of Hogwarts. What chance did she stand against that?

The portrait swung open and James stepped into the common room jovially. Smiling like and idiot more like, Lily thought.

“Come up for air have you?” she said scathingly.

“Yeah, it was tough but I managed to.” He smiled.

“Mmm, I can imagine.” She replied, raising her eyebrows.

“Look Lily, is something wrong? I thought you liked Olivia.”

“I do but, I just…she just…she is…guilty by association.” She said. She could feel her voice rising.

“Guilty by association? Are you kidding me?” he said, narrowing his eyes at her.

“Yes, she and you and you and her, you are.. .”

“We’re what, Lily? What is your problem?!”

“You are! You’re my problem. Everything was fine when I hated you !”

“Lily, what are you talking about?”

“You know how I feel about you!”

This was it, she could see it in his eyes. He was furious. He stepped across the common room towards the boys dormitories. 

“Actually I don’t Lily. When have you ever given any indication that you don’t absolutely hate me? How am I supposed to have any idea at all of how you feel about me? You suddenly stop cursing at me and calling me names and I am supposed to pick up on the fact that you…you don’t hate me? You turned me down for six years and now you decide to get upset about it? How am I supposed to have clue what the eff goes through your mind?”

She froze. Well, when he put it like that…She looked to the ground. She shuffled her feet before deciding she could finally return his gaze.

“But I don’t hate you. I don’t hate you at all. I…I opposite of hate you.”

She could feel stinging in her eyes. Dear God, she was going to cry. In front of James bloody Potter, she was going to cry. She bit her lip, she couldn’t cry. He was shaking his head at her. For a moment she thought he might start crying too. He looked like he’d just lost the Quidditch World Cup…basically it was awful. 

“It’s too late Lily.”

He turned and walked up the stone steps to the boys dormitory and out of sight, leaving her alone with her thoughts and her tears in the common room.

                                  

                                                          ***

_“I ain’t no Queen of Hearts, I go through phases. I fall in love then complicate it…”_

-‘What’s Good For Me’ by Lucy Woodward

A/N- Okay, I had a hard time not getting upset when writing this. It just made me sad. Anyways, tune in next time to see how it all turns out…Also reviews? Recommendations? Also title choice? Hmm I am iffy…I actually went through like four songs before finally deciding on this one but I _think_ it fits…

Ps- I almost forgot this is set about a month after Chapter Four… 


	8. Half Life

Half Life

Someone had thrown open the window, cold air was leaking into the room and rippling the hangings on his four poster bed. A shiver ran down his spine and he rubbed his eyes groggily. His mind was cloudy, grim and overcast. His heart was heavy, it was as though there were little weights sitting at the bottom of it. 

He threw open his hangings and tossed him legs over the side of the bed. He had to get up eventually. Lily’s face had floated in and out of his dreams. Even in reality all he could think of was the expression on her face the night before. 

He dressed absent mindedly, without making any of the usual effort. His eyes were bloodshot from not enough sleep and his skin was clammy. He knew he must look awful but he didn’t care. He strode down to the Great Hall, but today it was without any skip in his step. He wasn’t his usual self, he could hear people whispering as he walked down the long aisle between the Gryffindor  and Ravenclaw tables before finally taking a seat next to Sirius.

Lily was sitting a people away, nudging at her waffles with her fork. She was trying to shield her eyes with her hair but it wasn’t working all that well. He could see that they were red and swollen. How many tears had she shed since he had last seen her? It was his fault. He had made her cry, he thought bitterly. It felt as though another little weight had settled itself at the bottom of his heart.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, soft and warm.

“Hey Stranger, mind if I sit down?”

Olivia squeezed between him and Sirius and she sat facing him, her grey eyes were dancing with the same vivacity they usually did. Grey eyes, not green ones. Her brow furrowed slightly.

“Is everything okay? Are you sick James? You look awful, well still devilishly handsome to be sure,” she smiled at him encouragingly, “but not your usually chipper self.”

“I’m fine, just didn’t sleep much.” He strained to smile. It wasn’t working.

He wondered if he seemed as hollow as he felt.

“Alright…” she trailed of.

She was looking at him inquisitively, searching his face for something the wasn’t there. She leaned in and kissed his cheek softly and murmured something about seeing him later. As she had leaned in, a loud scraping noise came from across the table. He looked up just in time to see Lily dashing out of the Great Hall, red hair flying behind her, illuminated in the morning light. He hoped things would get better as the day went on.

She wouldn’t look at him. She wouldn’t talk to him. It was okay, he was used to being ignored by her. She had done it for years and he had never let it get to him. However, this time was different. There were no suggestive remarks from him, nor any snide comebacks from her. There was nothing to laugh about this time. Just silence, uncomfortable and cold. 

He missed her more than he thought he would. He couldn’t kid himself anymore. He had vowed to get over her after the quidditch final of last year, Sirius had made him promise to. He had made every effort to move on. He didn’t pester her or bother her anymore, instead of chasing Lily he had begun to spend more time with Olivia. Slowly he had begun to think of Lily less and less. 

However, her recent explosion had caused him to wonder if he had every really given up on her at all. For the first time in months, she was filling his thoughts constantly as he replayed the scene over and over in his mind. His reaction to her words, the discovery that she cared for him, was not what he expected. After all these years, finally he was the one saying no to her. Finally, he had stopped chasing her. He thought it would be better that way.  He thought it would be easy but a life without Lily- even for two weeks, was much more difficult than he had imagined.

A week had passed and nothing had changed. He rarely saw her at mealtimes. If he did, she was often seated halfway down the hall at the Ravenclaw table with her friend Brenna. She stayed out of the Gryffindor common room entirely, preferring to stay in the girls’ dormitory instead. He wished he could talk to her but that seemed impossible as she was avoiding him like the plague. She ran out of classes before he had even gathered his books and would run into the girls washroom if she spotted him in the hall. 

It was nearly two weeks when he had the chance to talk to her. It was early one Sunday morning, he had woken up early and come down to the common room to see her just walking out the portrait hole. He seized the opportunity and scrambled out after her. 

“Lily! Lily wait!” 

“Piss of Potter.” She shouted over her shoulder.

 

She turned away from him and down toward a steep stone staircase. He wasn’t going to give up that easily. 

“Lily! Please! Just talk to me, just hear me out.”

She stopped. She crossed her arms and gave him a mighty glare that probably would have made most curl back in fear. 

“You have five minutes.”

“Lily, I didn’t mean to hurt you-“

“Too late”

He looked toward the window where dawn was breaking over the distant hill, sending beams of early morning sunlight across the hall, across her face, her eyes and her hair. 

“Lily, I don’t want us to be like this, I want us to be…to be okay.”

“I hate you James Potter.”

She turned on her heel and walked away, letting her robes billow behind her, her heels clacking on the stone floor.

“I opposite of hate you.”

As quickly as she had turned away, she turned back. Her face was inches from his. She was looking in his eyes and he could see each individual lash, each speck of emerald in her eyes.

“What did you say to me?” she whispered.

“I opposite of hate you. I always have. I don’t want you to hate me Lily. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I wouldn’t ever want to…I still want you to be in my life even if it’s not like that…Lily, I need you.”

She stepped back and sighed heavily. He worried that she was going to turn around again and leave him standing, alone, in the chilly hallway. Instead, something happened that he had not expected. A small smile was creeping up on her face. 

“So, friends?”

It was all he could hope for, if not _more_ than he could hope for.  Things could go on just as they had before that night in the common room. Friends, who had finally realized how much they needed each other. He nodded silently as the two of them walked downstairs for breakfast.

                                                     ***

“ _’Cause lately, something here don’t feel right. This is just a half life. Without you I am breaking down. Oh wake me, I wanna see the daylight. Save me from this half life. Let’s you and I escape, escape from time.”_

-‘Half Life’ by Duncan Sheik

**A/N-** AH I am SO glad I go to use this song! So this is the follow up to chapter seven…

What do you think? Overall I am rather pleased. I had a different ending originally but this one fits better in terms of how long I want the story to be. Next up we find out why James was ready to give up on Lily near the end of sixth year…it’s going to be wonderful because I have had that chapter planned for ages, I have just been waiting for the right time. Lastly, thank you for your wonderful reviews! I always get so excited when I see that someone has posted another one. So if you like the chapter or even if you hate it, let me know because I looooove feedback. That being said, thank you again and wish me luck on my exam that I will be writing in about twelve hours…oh my… 


	9. Vindicated

Vindicated

The days were becoming longer as the semester crept closer and closer to the summer equinox. It was late, she knew. The sun was setting by the time she had finished, filling the grand room with fading sunlight, gold and orange. It splashed over the rows and rows of books, some of the gold lettering on their spines glinting bright. She could feel the warmth on her face and she closed her eyes to the glaring light. 

It had been a quiet afternoon, spent at the library, trying to catch up on the mountainous amount of work she had to finish before her exams. She always meant to get her work done before hand but life always seemed to get in the way. But she figured she had done enough work for one day. Fortunately the library had been unusually empty that day and so she had been able to plow through her work without the usual distractions.

She packed up her books and headed for the stone staircase in the Entrance Hall. She hardly noticed where she was going as she made her way back to the Gryffindor tower. She was thinking about curling up in one of the squishy scarlet armchairs by the fire, maybe with a book. She hoped it would be too busy, true it was a Saturday night, but exams were set to being in about two weeks so it was likely that the common room was filled with busy students, irritable fifth and seventh years and anxious first years.

“Hello dear, password?” the Fat Lady portrait said smiling up at her.

“Godric”

The door swung open and there was an eruption of cheering from within. Lily was nearly knocked back from surprise. Just as quickly hands were reaching out and pulling her inside. Shouting and jeering as they did, a chorus of ‘Go! Go! Gryffindor” audible from somewhere in the room.

Lily didn’t think she had ever seen this many people in the common room at one time. It was a sea of red and gold, banners and face paint everywhere. She stepped on her tippy toes to look for one of her friends but was taken aback when someone ran full on into her, knocking her into one of the sofas.   

“Lily! I can’t believe you missed it! Did you not even go to the game? It was bloody fantastic! Potter, Vance you should have seen them! Effing brilliant chasers! Ravenclaw caught the snitch and we still won! Gryffindor won the cup!” Eva shouted to a following of whooping and cheering.

The Quidditch final. It had been today. She had completely forgotten about it, not that she was all that enamored with quidditch to begin with but it had been the finals. She would have liked to have stood in the crowd, decked in scarlet and gold and cheering alongside the rest of her house. Besides, it probably would have been worth it just to see how enthused professor McGonagall was. She laughed inwardly at the idea of the stern Transfiguration professor clad in red and gold, shouting along with her students. 

“Well come on! Join in the celebrations!” 

So Lily smeared  a streak of scarlet and gold on each cheek and went to join the festivities. However, it wasn’t until after the younger years had gone to bed that a few seventh years went up to their dormitory and reemerged carrying bottles on amber liquid.

“Fire whisky for everyone!” they cheered.

Lily gaped. Mental pictures of McGonagall walking in on this were racing through her brain along with reference letters and her future job at St. Mungo’s as the other sixth and seventh years scrambled forward to where the fire whisky was. Eva and Grace were cheersing with Sirius and James as Lily stood back, unsure of what to do. Even the head girl, Emmeline Vance was partaking. She looked around at the others who surrounded the table. Even Remus was huddled next to Emmeline. They seemed to have noticed that Lily was standing apart from the rest.

“Hey Evans, come join us. You don’t have to drink anything, I mean you can if you want to but you don’t have to.” Emmeline called, tossing a sheet of blonde hair over her shoulder.

“Are you sure we won’t get in trouble or something?” Lily asked, advancing cautiously.

“Oh, of course not! You should hear what some of the other houses get up to…” Emmeline laughed. 

Well, Emmeline _was_ head girl after all, and Lily had gotten to become rather good friends with her through prefect duties and the like. She knew that Emmeline wasn’t at all the type to start trouble…one drink wouldn’t be too bad. Besides, she'd never tried fire whisky before.

“Oh please Evans, you aren’t actually going to drink anything, are you?” James scoffed.

“Yes, as a matter of fact Potter, I am” Lily huffed as she shuffled forward.

Lily picked up a little glass of drink and downed it, coughing and sputtering. She couldn’t believe how strong it was.

“Don’t be silly Lily, mix it with something.”

What a bad idea. Sure, she had drank the occasional glass of wine at dinner and sometimes her mom let her had a strawberry daiquiri in the summer but she had never had this much before. To be fair, it was not much, but it was enough. Lily was, without a doubt, rather tossed. She was also, surprisingly, rather enjoying herself.

She was laughing at something that generally, probably wouldn’t have been all that funny, when Mary MacDonald came down from the girl’s dormitory. Her eyes were red and her lashes were wet. No one else had noticed but Lily, who felt a sudden surge of empathy for little Mary.  Which was a little off, as Lily usually found Mary to be annoying.

“Mary, darling what’s wrong?” she cooed.

“Lily. You’re drunk?”  Mary gasped.

“Precisely why you should tell me. I probably won’t even remember tomorrow.”

Mary laughed and motioned to Lily to follow her out into the corridor. Lily followed and sat down, back against the stone wall, in the corridor facing Mary.

“Sorry I just, it’s just about Thomas.” Mary mumbled.

Lily sighed. Even a tossed Lily could have figured _that_ out. When it came to dramatics, it was always about Mary and her boyfriend, Thomas Edgecome. Admittedly, Lily thought that Thomas was a bit of an idiot but, outside his own house of Ravenclaw, that was a rather common opinion of him. Besides, few students had yet to witness the between classes that sometimes erupted in the hallways between them. 

“It’s, well,” Mary sniffed, “Jasmine Patil told Melanie Brewster that she saw Thomas snogging Elladora Crouch. I just don’t want to bring it up to him because obviously I don’t know whether or not it’s true. I mean, I would like to think that he wasn’t but you _know_ how Elladora is. She’s a complete slag. Oh Lily, don’t look at me like that. I know it is so judgmental of me but you know you think so too. You know she was just snogging Amos last week and now she’s moved on to my Thomas. I know I should just ditch him for it, I know he’s an absolute prat but I just can’t Lily. Because despite everything, I still love him and that’s all that matters.”

Lily listened attentively, or at least as attentively as possible given her inebriation, to Mary’s concerns over Thomas. Occasionally she would nod her head enthusiastically or proclaim things like “Oh! Of course!” or “No, definitely not” where she thought it was appropriate. However, this seemed to be just what Mary needed because after what seemed like several days she engulfed Lily in a bone crushing hug and was gushing with thanks.

“Oh Lily, that is just what I needed! Shall was go in now?”

Lily followed absent mindedly, her head was spinning a little from getting up too quickly, though it might have been due to something else as well. Nonetheless, she stumbled through the portrait hole 

Once inside the common room Lily could see that the festivities were clearly at an end as only one person had remained, cleaning off the tabled of sticky fire whisky and dirty glasses. Mary started heading up to the dormitory but Lily stayed behind to help clean up.

“So Evans, did you have an alright time tonight?” he inquired.

“Why yes, Mr. Potter. I daresay I did.”

Lily didn’t know why she was being so nice to him, it must have been the fire whisky. He laughed, pointing his wand expertly at the table and muttered _scourgify_. Lily copied him clumsily. 

“So what was the little discussion for? More trouble in paradise for Mary and the Edgecome prat?”

Lily laughed loudly.

“When is there not?” she said, cocking an eyebrow.

James stepped closer to her and shrugged his shoulders. She could smell the fire whisky on his breath.

“I wouldn’t want a relationship like that, it’s much too complicated. But I guess if you really care about someone, it doesn’t matter what happens, you still want to be with them. Even when they don’t want to be with you, you always hope that they will realize that they really do care about you.”

He took a step closer to her. They were standing tall, facing each other, staring drunkenly. Lily felt her cheeks burn as his eyes remained locked with hers. His face was coming closer but she was rooted to the spot.

“Lily?” he whispered. 

And suddenly, in the middle of the Gryffindor common room, James Potter was kissing her. His had on her cheek, her arms were flopped over his shoulders, it was like a kind of movie kiss. She felt numb, light, and alive. 

It didn’t matter that she hated him. He was kissing her and nothing else seemed relevant. Sure, she had kissed a couple of other people before but it was never anything like this. The room was spinning around them but she could not bring herself to stop it.

Suddenly she understood Mary. This is what she had meant. This is what James had meant. This is it was all about. A few stolen moments of absolute perfection, where nothing else existed and nothing else mattered but those two people. It was those precious seconds that made everything else worth it. 

“So turn up the corners of your lips, part them and feel my finger tips. Trace the moment for forever. Defense is paper thin, just one touch and I’ll begin…”

-‘Vindicated’ by Dashboard Confessional.

A/N- It’s soooo long! Woo! So this is the first part of the chapter. I mean technically it is two chapters but well anyways- I know this doesn’t really explain why James gave up but you will find out soooontime. 

ps- What do you think? I just do not know....corny? 


	10. Already Gone

Already Gone

A warm breeze flew through the open window, rustling his hair. It was morning he knew, but there was a pounding in his head that kept him from opening his eyes. He was warm and relaxed and wished that sleep would come again. He felt strange though, even in half consciousness, he was aware that something was weighing on his chest, something or rather someone else was there. He squinted in the early sunlight, but was blinded by the light reflecting on some very red auburn hair. James sat up a little. He was still in his clothes from the night before, as was she. 

“Lily. Lily wake up.” He whispered.

She opened her eyes wide, staring at him with her mouth hanging open in surprise. Just as quickly her features contorted and she was glaring at him fiercely. 

“What did you do Potter?”  

“What do you mean ‘what did I do?’ I didn’t _do_ anything. What did you do?”

“I-you. Oh my God. We didn’t. We didn’t kiss did we?”

She was staring at him, eyes wide. She didn’t remember. She jumped up and was standing across the room from him. Her hair was disheveled and her clothes were crinkled. Snippets of last night were coming back to him. Her face lit up by the firelight, his face was tingling they were hardly three inches apart and then…

“No, no we didn’t.”

Her eyes narrowed, she was running her hand along her hairline. She did remember.

“Oh we did, I knew we did. I can’t believe this…”

“Lily, maybe it’s not such a bad…”

“Don’t even say that. It was bad. It is bad.”

“But Lily-“

“James Potter, if you ever tell anyone about this then I will…I will kill you myself and feed your body to the Grindylows in the lake.”

She turned on her heel and threw the heavy wooden door open, not even bothering to close it. He lay back down and he could hear her footsteps on the stone steps below. Then, a voice came from the four poster bed next to his.

“You’ve got to give it up mate.”

Sirius’ head was poking out of the hangings of his bed. His face showed no sign of the usually laughter. This time he meant it.

“You kissed her and she still doesn’t like you. She still doesn’t get it. It’s time to let her go. You can’t keep missing out on other people because you hung up on Lily Evans. You’re bleeding young and dashing go out and date other people. Don’t miss out because of her. Move on, mate.”

He was right, it happened rarely, but Sirius was actually giving him some good advice. Usually it was the other way around. He had wasted too much time on a girl that would always hate him. It was time to let go. 

“You think I’m dashing, Sirius?”

“I wish that we could find the words to look the other way. Be careful of the things we do and watch the things we say. Maybe then we’d get somewhere we’ve never been before. What’s the use in fighting when you know you’ve lost the war.”

-‘Already Gone’ by Blue Rodeo. 


	11. Bleeding Love

Bleeding Love

His palms were sweaty and he was holding onto her hand a little too tightly, as though he was afraid she might run away if he let go for just a second. His grip tightened a little. It wasn't painful or anything, just a little bizarre. She wasn't his girlfriend or anything either, but maybe that's why he was clinging to her so much. She couldn't even remember why she'd agreed to go out with Will Robins anyways.

She looked up, squinting against the mid day sun. There were to figures standing up the road in front of the Three Broomsticks, only when they got closer did she realize who they were. 

Olivia was pointing animatedly at the icicles outside the pub. Lily's eyes moved downward to where James had his arm settled around Olivia's waist. Sirius and Katie were standing next to them. Katie was smiling coyly as Sirius, holding a curtain of her straight brown hair aloft, was no doubt whispering sweet nothings into her ear. She felt Will's grip on her hand slacken and she looked over to him curiously. He was looking up towards the foursome standing outside the Three Broomsticks.

'We don't have to go up there, we could just go to Puddifoot's if you want. That'd be nice.'

'Puddifoot's? No, it's okay. We'll go Three Broomstick's. I haven't had butterbeer in ages.'

Lily couldn't believe him. Puddifoot's? On a first date? She didn't want to have to sit next to a snogging James and Olivia but even that was better than pink heart shaped confetti and awkward silences. So they made their way up the road to Three Broomstick's, thankfully the others had already gone in so there wouldn't have to be any kind of awkward conversations. The door jingled as Will held it open for her and a wave of warm air drifted towards her as they came in from the dreary February day. Will made his way over to Madam Rosmerta at the bar to order to Butterbeers while Lily stood a little ways a way from him awkwardly. 

'Oi! Evans, Robbins, come have a seat!'

Lily scanned the crowded pub to see who was calling at her. She hoped it would be Russell Thomas and Eva Thurston with Grace calling her over to sit with them. The bar was absolutely packed as it was Valentine's Day and Hogsmeade weekend of the New Year and she and Will would be lucky if they could find somewhere to sit. Plus, if she was with Russ, Eva and Grace it would be so much less awkward than sitting with Will alone.

Of course, there was only one thing that could be more awkward then that.

Sirius Black was calling them over to sit with him, Katie, Olivia and James. Bloody hell, he had to be joking.

Lily tried to pretend she didn't notice as Will was turning to her, butterbeers in hand, scanning the room for an available table. But it was useless, there seemed to be only two seats left in the whole place. Of all the luck, Lily thought.

"Evans! Robbins! Oi, come sit!'

Will shot side glance at Lily, clearly skeptical. She shrugged her shoulders, it wasn't like they had much of a choice. So they crossed the crowded room and pulled two stools up to the round table where the others sat. 

Lily couldn't help but notice how particularly close James and Olivia were sitting, or the fact the she hand her hand over his on the table. If only she had some flaws, it might make Lily feel a bit more comfortable. But no, her honey curls were shiny and defined without a trace of frizz, her skin glowing and she was smiling at James pristinely. All of which was only made worse by the fact that he was smiling at her in the exact same way. It was like they had some sort of twisted lovely secret that no one else was in on. 

"So Evans, why are you two here? Why aren't you at Puddifoot's?"

" I am pink confetti intolerant. Though, I could ask you the same question Sirius."

"You know I like to keep things casual Evans. Though really, if anyone should be snogging over cupids and paper hearts it's these two. Would you stop gazing so affectionately Potter, your kind of making me sick."

"Shuddup Black, I'm trying to set a mood." James said, winking at Lily and Will.

Olivia laughed brightly and traced her fingertips over James' hand. Will furrowed his eyebrows and looked darkly towards them.

"So Evans, when did you want to schedule the next prefects meeting?"

He wasn't talking to her, he couldn't. How was she supposed to answer with Olivia 'perfect gene pool' Diggory making goo goo eyes at him?

"Depends. You know what Bromley will say, he'll whine about quidditch practice, and MacNair will probably complain about personal affairs he has to take care of which, you know, must be something completely sinister."

"True, maybe we can after our next meeting with Dumbles? If we can get our crew all sorted out." James laughed.

The prefect meeting discussions carried on, none of the others had much to say about it so it was mostly just Lily and James going back and forth. She didn't mind, since the episode in the charms corridor a few weeks ago, they had been trying to patch up their friendship. Perhaps the conversation was getting a little too exclusive because Olivia interrupted Lily mid sentence.

"Oh my gosh, look James, it's almost four! We'd better head back up to the castle."

"We don't need to go right away Livy, they aren't going to start dinner until at least half past five."

"Yes but I just need to give you your Valentine's Day gift. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't do anything nice for Valentine's hmm? C'mon, let's go."

Lily was not sure what disgruntled her more, the fact that James called Olivia 'Livy' or the fact that Olivia was so desperate to snog James that she was dragging him away from an important prefect discussion. 

Nonetheless, James and Olivia hurried out of the pub and back to the castle almost immediately. She did not see him again until well after the feast that night. 

She was sitting in the common room by the fire, heavy snowflakes were falling silently outside the mullioned windows. She was curled up in one of the squishy work velvet armchairs rereading Pride and Prejudice for about the millionth time. As far as Lily was concerned, a dose of Mister Darcy was just what she needed. She had had fun with Will today, but he was certainly no Mister Darcy.

The portrait swung open loudly, revealing James and startling Lily so that she tossed the book straight into the air and over the crimson couch where it landed with a thud on the worn carpet. 

James picked it up, smirking at her and examining the cover. 

"Ah, Pride and Prejudice. Robbins wasn't dashing enough for you today?" he smiled at her.

"Nobody is as dashing as Darcy." She rebutted matter of factly.

"That's debatable. But Robbins certainly isn't. I don't know why you'd bother with such a dolt." He said, sauntering over and handing her back the novel before stretching out on the sofa. 

"He isn't a dolt. Okay, he not Darcy, but he's alright. Besides, what else was I supposed to do for Valentine's Day? I couldn't very well sit in the common room all day reading Jane Austen while everyone went to Hogsmeade with their dates."

"I guess, but you could do better you know. You just need to find someone you are comfortable with, someone you just mesh with."

"Like you and Olivia you mean."

Lily didn't know why she said that. She didn't have any desire to be like James and Olivia. She didn't even want to talk about Olivia. Ever since the little outburst a couple of months ago she had refrained from mentioning anything about Olivia to him. She hoped that he had not caught the bitterness she was sure had come through in her voice. Though, he must have because he raised his eyebrows poignantly before answering. 

"Yes, I guess you could say that. Olivia and I get along very well."

"So you two are getting serious then?"

"Well, sort of. I mean we have been dating for a few months now." He shrugged.

Lily stared down at the worn scarlet carpet, unable to respond. She didn't even know why she had asked, she didn't really want to know. Well, she wanted to know, that just wasn't the answer she had wanted to hear. She hadn't expected it to last this long, the James and Olivia thing. It was supposed to be just a few weeks, casual dating. The he would have gone back to following her around.

Maybe it had been foolish to think so, she thought bitterly, he hadn't asked her out since the end of last year. He hadn't made any suggestions or rude comments at all. All indications of any inclination he might have for her rested on the night in the common room back in November. 

"Lily?"

She glanced up at him, she'd nearly forgotten he was in the room with her.

"Maybe you and I shouldn't talk about this. Olivia and I, I mean. I just think it is uncomfortable."

"What do you mean? You think I can't handle it?" she glared at him, drawing herself up to her full height.

"I didn't say that, I just meant that it's kind of awkward. It's just not something I like discussing with you."

"You're the one who wanted us to be friends Potter, this is what friends do. They talk about their lives, they share personal things, they trust each other, and they respect each other. I opened up to you, I told you my deepest secret and fear in case you had forgotten. Or maybe you just don't care."

She could see the sting her words had inflicted. Rather than feel sorry, she felt triumphant. At this moment she hated him, she knew she wasn't even making sense anymore, she just wanted him to feel as terrible as she did.

"Lily, come on, you know that isn't true. You know I care about you."

"No, no you don't. If you did you wouldn't be doing this to me. I made it clear how I feel about you and you still keep dangling it in front of me."

"What are you talking about Lily?"

"You and Olivia. Every chance you get you rub it in my face. And you just don't care, you don't care that I hate it or that it just drives me mad."

His eyes narrowed and he shook his head, biting back a retort. Instead of lashing back at her, he turned and began to walk toward the stone staircase up to the boys' dormitories. She wanted to yell at him, to make him come back but could not even begin to search for the right words. Instead, she did the only thing that seemed to make any sense. Though, in retrospect it probably was not the most appropriate nor the most mature thing to do.

She mustered up all of her strength and threw Mister Darcy and Elizabeth at him. Lily's worn copy of Pride and Prejudice hit him squarely in the back of the head. 

He took one look at he over his shoulder and hastened up the stairs, and then she was alone suffocating in silence. A terrible feeling was washing over her that even Mister Darcy couldn't ease and then suddenly her eyes was watering and salty tears were streaming down her cheeks. Her face was flushed and she couldn't help but feel as though someone had cut open her heart and it kept bleeding. All of the stolen glances and kind words and feelings that had been building up inside her since November were just bleeding out of her. But there was no blood, just tears a dying fire and an old copy of Pride and Prejudice laying haphazardly on the floor. 

_"They try to pull me away but they don't know the truth. My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing, you cut me open and I, and I keep keep bleeding love."_ -Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis.

**A/N- So it has been forever since I updated this I know, but now that the term is coming to a close I finally have some time to write. Truth be told, I started this Chapter ages ago but every time I opened the file to work on it, I was faced with an awful case of writers block. The title/plot of this chapter has changed about three times at least. I am rather pleased with the final outcome and even have a few ideas for the next couple of Chapters. I do hope you liked it but regardless please review anyways. Ps- Great song, I am glad I had the opportunity to use it.**

**_ps- Can I just point out the coincidence that this chapter was put up on James' birthday? Assuming he was not a fictional character and was not killed by Lord Voldemort, he would be 48 today._ **


	12. Love Will Come Through

**Love Will Come Through**   


    It had been eleven days sixteen hours and twenty three minutes since he had last spoken to her. James was sitting in the great hall between classes, pushing around the chips on his plate and staring blankly around the room. Olivia was beside him, lovely as ever under the bright sky of the enchanted ceiling. Adjusting the headband on her perfect curls, her gray eyes on him, not that James had really noticed. Lily though, her hair was loose today, down from it’s usual messy bun and her head thrown back in laughter, Grace and Eva beside her. James looked back down at his plate and continued to push around his food with his fork.

“And then I was saying that we should just go to my house but then she said- James? James, are you listening?”

“Hm what?”

Olivia’s eyes narrowed at him, her brow furrowing as she looked down the table to where he had just been focusing. Her mouth dropped a bit but she closed it quickly, pretending not to notice. She liked to keep up appearances, he knew that. Olivia coughed loudly causing Lily and her friends to look up, then promptly ran her hand through his hair and brushed her lips against his.

“I’m going to go sit with Hilary, I’ll see you in charms James.” She smiled, getting to her feet.

       James caught Lily’s green eyes, wide in surprise, she arched her eyebrows condescendingly and turned back to laugh with Grace. His eyes followed her before returning back to his plate of chips and treacle tart. Not that he really noticed, it seemed like someone had burned that night in the common room on the inside of his eyelids. No matter what he did the scene kept replaying in his mind, perfectly clear yet utterly clouded. He kept picturing the crushed look on her face, trying to decode the words she had thrown at him. 

    She had said she had made it clear but he had never been more confused. Olivia was clear. With Olivia there was no guesswork, no name calling, and no yelling matches. She was beautiful and smart and he liked her. This was reasonable, this was justified. He had sworn ages ago that he would give up on Lily Evans and he thought he had. He had moved on to someone wonderful. And it was true, he assured himself, Olivia was wonderful and he was happy with her.

       James was so distracted that he ambled into Charms class twenty five minutes late, almost tripping over Professor Flitwick in the process before being told rather grudgingly to take his seat. The only empty seat in the class. The one behind Lily Evans. 

    He took his seat quietly as Professor Flitwick explained the complicated wand movements for some charm that evaded him memory. Instead he inhaled the soft smell of her and let his eyes trace the different tones of red and burnt orange and gold in her hair absent mindedly.

“Mister Potter? Mister Potter?”

He looked up, the entire class was staring at him. Well save for three people. Flitwick looked thoroughly irritated, Olivia and Lily just scowled. 

“Mister Potter, I had asked you if you could demonstrate the Heliaxum spell. However, if you are unwell perhaps it would be better if you went up to the hospital wing.”

“Yes Professor, I’m not feeling well.”

    James sighed with relief as he shut the heavy wooden door to the Charms classroom behind him, finally free of prying green and grey eyes. He trudged along the stone corridor towards a small stone staircase concealed behind a tapestry, a shortcut to the hospital wing. When he arrived Madame Pomfrey clucked disapprovingly at his tired eyes but proclaimed there was actually nothing much wrong with him. Though announced that he should take the rest of the day off and be sure to get plenty of rest. He was sure he caught some pity in her eyes before she gave him a withering look and disappeared back into her office. As she did Olivia pushed through one of the enormous double doors to the wing, her eyes were narrowed not matching the attempt at a smile on her face.

“James”

He looked up at her, unable to find the words to answer her.

“We need to talk James.” She said not meeting his eyes as he nodded solemnly. 

“If you would rather be dating Lily Evans you need to tell me.”

“What?” he looked up now, truly surprised by both the accusation and the way his words echoed off the walls.

“I know you were in love with her. I need to know if you still are James.”

He shook his head vehemently before replying. She was wrong, he didn’t love Lily. He felt bad, maybe even awful. But love, had he ever really loved her? Probably not.

“No, that was over a long time ago. It’s not like that Olivia, I let it go.”

She sized him up sceptically. 

“Then why were staring at her over breakfast? You’re eyes follow her in class and Mary MacDonald told me you’ve been practically stalking her in the Gryffindor common room in the evenings.”

    This James hadn’t expected. Had Olivia really noticed? Had other people noticed the change in him over the last week and a half and deduced the real reason behind it? He had tried to explain it away with stress, NEWTS, anything- but he had been found out. 

    His eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he tried to form an acceptable answer. He could explain that he and Lily had gotten into an argument and he said some really awful things and felt badly, or he could explain that he pitied her because of her problems at home but neither would be a complete or fair explanation. He knew that Olivia deserved more than this and more than a boyfriend whose eyes and thoughts were constantly chasing after Lily Evans. He hung his head as he decided on his reply.

“I don’t think we should keep seeing each other Olivia.” 

She nodded, absentminded brushing her hair off her forehead, her expression unreadable, somewhere between understanding and a grimace.

“We’re too logical, we make sense. Love…isn’t supposed to.”

“So we don’t have to go through the whole dramatic breakup thing?”

Olivia’s mouth curved into a small smile.

“No James, I don’t think so. I don’t think it really needs to be publicized either, I mean we can still be friends right?”

“Of course.” He smiled genuinely.

“Good because I don’t think we really need this screamed from the astronomy tower or anything.”

“So still friends?” he asked.

“Definitely.”

    Olivia glided across the room towards the double doors, graceful as ever with her bouncing loose ringlets. She paused when she reached him, placing her hand on his shoulder and whispering something to him quickly before leaving the Hospital Wing. Only when Olivia was well down the staircase to the Great Hall did James comprehend what she had said.

“For what its worth, I think she still loves you too.”

*** 

“If I told you a secret You won't tell a soul Will you hold it and keep it alive Cause it's burning a hole And I can't get to sleep And I can't live alone in this lie”

_-Love Will Come Through by Travis_

A/N- FINALLY! I honestly rewrote this chapter a hundred times! (Okay exaggeration) But seriously, it took forever to finish – plus with midterms and finals and work…if your in college/university you know what I am talking about. Anyways I hope you enjoy it because it’s been a long time coming! Also I am thinking of rewriting some of the earlier chapters so keep an eye out for that…oh and finally HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my little sister who is 18 today:):D 


	13. Leave the Pieces

Leave The Pieces

Lily’s eyelids were heavy and her foot was asleep. She was trying to endure the last ten minutes of Professor McGonagall’s explanation on some complex spell that Lily, at the moment, couldn’t really care less about. In an effort to keep herself from slumping down on the desk in complete exhaustion, which would probably not be looked upon well by Professor McGonagall, she decided to look around the room. Where her eyes rested seemed natural, even to her. 

James looked even more tired than she felt. His arm rested on his desk, lazily trying to support his head. His eyes were closed and his mouth partially open, breathing quietly. Something in Lily’s stomach turned unpleasantly at the sight of him, as if she was the root cause of it all. Though, the more she thought about it, the more that seemed like a fair statement. She had antagonized him, scolded him and yelled at him, when he had never been anything but kind to her. Well, in the last few months anyways.

The guilt continued to turn over and over in Lily’s stomach as Professor McGonagall carried on with the lesson. However, Lily’s gaze did not move from James’ exhausted form. After what seemed like an eternity Professor McGonagall told the class to pack up their things and began listing off pages for homework. Despite the shuffling of papers and scraping of chairs, Lily distinctly heard the last sentence Professor McGonagall mouthed. 

“Oh, and Mr. Potter please stay behind. I have a few things to discuss with you.”

Lily sat motionless in her chair before Grace shook her shoulder violently, urging her to get up.

“Lily, c’mon it’s lunch time silly”

Lily stood and walked out into the corridor with Grace in a daze. Grace and Eva were discussing the complicated spell Professor McGonagall had been attempting to teach them but Lily only caught about every third word. 

“Lily, what’s the matter with you?”

“I’m sorry, I left my Transfiguration book in class. I’ll meet you at lunch, I’ll just be a second.” Lily lied easily and sped away in the other direction before her friends could even reply.

The heavy wooden doors to the Transfiguration classroom stood slightly ajar. As Lily reached for the door handle she heard Professor McGonagall’s sharp voice coming through the sliver between the two doors and froze abruptly.

“Now, Mister Potter, you have given my no choice but to speak to the headmaster if your grades do not improve. I should have to have to write to your mother about this. If you are having difficulty balancing your school work with your duties as quidditch captain and head boy you really ought to be seeking assistance. I would hate for this to cause a loss for Gryffindor but I am more concerned with your lack of initiative and attention in class.”

“Please Professor, don’t write to my mother. I have been distracted lately but I have sorted it out and there’s nothing to interfere with my head boy duties or quidditch or my school work.”

Professor McGonagall sighed heavily before continuing.

“All right Potter, but I assure you that if you do not improve I will be speaking to your mother, do say hello to her for me by the way, will you. You may go now.”

Lily hurried away from the classroom, shuffling back to the common room trying to process what she had just heard. Before she even realized it she was slumped in one of the squishy armchairs in front of the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room. Great sheets of rain were hammering at the mullioned windows but there was a fire crackling merrily in the grate and the common room was unusually empty so Lily stayed put and began to contemplate what she had just over heard.

Had she caused James to fall behind? Did she even have that much sway over him? How could she possibly? There was no way, Lily rationalized, that in simply not speaking to him could she ever be the cause of such a thing. It must be Olivia, she thought. Yet, Lily couldn’t help but feel guilty for how she had treated James. Hadn’t he been there for her when she had needed him? 

The portrait door swung open suddenly, startling Lily out of her contemplation. James entered, absent mindedly tripping over his own feet upon stepping over the threshold. He straightened himself and glanced up at Lily curled up in the armchair. 

“Oh, its you” he mumbled before turning towards the staircase. 

“James, please wait.” Lily said, getting to her feet hastily and turning to face him.

James rounded slowly, and slouching stared at her expectantly.

“I’m sorry, for what I did or whatever I might have done.”

“What are you talking about Lily?”

“I’m sorry, for not speaking to you and if that upset you and if not well then I’m sorry if there is something going on between you and Olivia…I know, I know I threw a book at you but I hope you two work it out. I just…I don’t know, I’m sorry”

“Why?”

“Well, I just- I heard Professor McGonagall talking to you after class. I had just gone back to get my Transfiguration book because I had forgotten it and I just happened to over heard, I didn’t mean to, it just happened. So I just wanted to apologize for anything I maybe could have done or said.”

“So now you think that because I’m in trouble with school its because of you? Because you aren’t speaking to me?” James asked, staring at her incredulously.

“Well, no…I just- I thought it might be a possibility so I wanted to apologize. You know, just in case.”

“Well you needn’t apologize.” James started coldly, his eyes narrowing, “God Lily, not everything is about you. Do you have any idea how many times you have ‘stopped’ talking to me over the last six years? Why do you think that this time it would change anything?” 

His hands were out emphatically, his eyebrows were furrowed in frustration and she could see the colour rising in his cheeks. Well, when he put it like that…

“As for Olivia and I, and as for my school work, neither one is any of your business. They never were and they aren’t now.”

“I’m sorry I just thought-“

“I know what you thought. I don’t love you Lily. Don’t worry about hurting my feelings, you can keep not talking to me as long as you like. You don’t have _that_ big of an effect on me, especially not now”

James turned and started up the stairs towards the boys’ dormitories before pausing and turning around.

“Oh and Dumbledore wants us to make sure we get everyone down for dinner, he has an important announcement apparently.” James said before disappearing up the stone staircase. 

For the second time, James left her standing, alone and speechless, in the common room. Her breathing became ragged, the pressure on her chest building all the while wondering how she could ever been so self involved. James didn’t care. _James didn’t care._ She had poured her heart out to him, thrown a copy of Pride and Prejudice at him and all he came back with was cold indifference. 

 Her knees buckled underneath her but before she could sit back down into the plush worn velvet armchair she raced up to the girl’s dormitory and collapsed on her four poster bed trying to fight the tears streaming down her face.

 

“And it’s alright. Yeah, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry ‘bout this heart of mine. Just you’re your love and hit the road. There’s nothing you can do or say, you’re going to break my heart anyways. So just leave the pieces when you go.”

\- ‘Leave the Pieces by The Wreckers

-

**A/N:** **So this chapter has pretty much been in the works for about ohhhh….I don’t even know how many months, I just kept getting stuck. I’m hoping the result is some what decent. I had been alternating throughout the story from James’ and Lily’s perspective, I had really wanted to continue with James in this chapter but didn’t want to break with tradition, one of the reasons actually why this chapter was such a challenge. However, I am content with the result and am excited for the rest to unfold in the next couple of chapters. If you have a comment or praise or criticism I would love to hear it but as always, thank you for reading:)**


	14. Fix You

Fix You

  James wiped the sweat off his brow and shifted his weight to his right foot to distract himself from blinking. For the second time that week James was standing at the front of the transfiguration classroom in deep conversation with Professor McGonagall.  
He could feel the tears waiting to fall and tried to steady his voice under McGonagall’s sympathetic gaze. 

“I really would like to be able to go and see her. Professor Dumbledore gave me permission to wave my Head Boy duties until I return but he asked me to speak to you before I leave.” 

 McGonagall’s brow softened and at that moment James could see she was holding back tears also.

“Of course Mister Potter you shall go. I wouldn’t expect anything else. I shall speak to your other professors immediately and notify them of your absence. I suggest you bring your school books with you as I will be sending your lesson plans by owl.” 

Professor McGonagall sniffed not daring to blink and swept across the room towards her office before pausing to turn back to James. 

“Also James, though you needn’t disclose the details I would inform Miss Evans of your excused absence so she can arrange to cover your shared duties.”

   James walked morosely along the long stone corridors back to the Gryffindor tower to pack. He encountered a few people on his way but could not lift his spirits enough to return their smiles. Any happiness he had felt at Hogwarts had melted away with the snow. Spring was coming and the days were becoming longer but James could only wish it away to bring back the winter when his mother had been healthy. 

  Every year since her husband had passed away Dorea Potter spent several weeks in the New Year away from the harsh snowy winters of England in some exotic locale, usually accompanied by Augusta Longbottom. This year she had been enthralled by the ancient ruins of the Mayans and Aztecs before contracting some unknown illness.  
She had tried to weather it at first, stoically insisting there was nothing the much matter with her. Before long though the winces and grimaces worsened to the point collapsing while home alone. Thankfully Ezra, their house elf had found her and sent an owl to James. She was now being cared for at St. Mungo’s where James hoped the healers had made some progress in helping his mother. 

 Sirius and Remus were seated on the faded threadbare rug in front of the fireplace in the common room, stoking the fire. Sirius looked up as James walked in, his brow furrowing.  
“How did it go with McG then?”  
James shrugged and headed for the boys’ dormitory leaving Sirius and Remus behind him to exchange worried looks. 

    The dormitory was empty when James reached it. He didn’t really want to have to explain why he was packing his trunk and pulling out his travelling cloak. He wished he hadn’t grown so much last year. He might have been able to use his invisibility cloak sneak up to Dumbledore’s office without people staring at him and his trunk. Though, he reminded himself, he still needed to talk to Lily. He only hoped he wouldn’t have to traipse all over the castle grounds to find her. 

  Thankfully Eva had joined Sirius and Remus in the common room when he finally resolved to go find her. With Eva’s direction James headed out the portrait hole and to the library to find Lily. Normally he probably would have avoided such a conversation like the plague but given everything else going on he couldn’t help but just want to get it over with.

     After searching nearly the entirety of the library James finally found her huddled at a table near the restricted section deeply immersed and "Gamp’s Fundamental Principles of Advanced Transfiguration".  
He cleared his throat hoping to gain her attention without startling her too much. She looked up irritably before registering who had interrupted her. Her features betrayed her surprise for only a moment before setting themselves into a fierce glare. 

“What do you want?” she demanded. 

“I need to talk to you. It is quite important but it won’t take long.” 

“What could you possibly have to say to me that I’d need to hear?” 

“I’m leaving Hogwarts for a while. Dumbledore gave me permission but I need you to help me out with covering with the prefects and rounds.”

  Lily’s eyebrows shot up. Apparently this was not what she had been expecting. After their last few dramatic conversations James figured he couldn’t really blame her for being surprised. He hadn’t really told anyone what had been going on with his mum. He hadn’t even really told Sirius the real truth until he found out his mum was at St. Mungo’s. 

“Sorry, I don’t think I understood that. It sounded like you were running off in March of our seventh year for an undefined amount of time to leave me with your head boy duties” she scoffed. 

“No, you understood perfectly.” 

“James, you can’t be serious.” 

“You know, you’re not the only one with a sick parent Lily. I’m not going on holiday. I’m going to St. Mungo’s” James said, turning to walk away once again. 

  There was shuffling behind him as he heard Lily stand up. He kept his eyes focused ahead of him. He didn’t have time to drag this out.The port key was waiting in Dumbledore’s office. 

“James- I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think...” 

“It’ll be okay...I mean,” he said turning back, “she’s all I have now you know.” 

Lily nodded looking at the ground. 

“Don’t worry, it’ll all be okay. I’m sure you’ll be back soon. In the meantime I can...I can hold down the fort. Aren’t you taking anyone with you though? Maybe Olivia or Sirius?” 

So she hadn’t heard about the breakup, James thought to himself. Or maybe she was just testing him to see if it was true. 

“No, I’m going alone” he shrugged turning to leave. 

He still had to go get his trunk and cloak from the Gryffindor tower.

James fastened his traveling cloak, looking up at the bright blue gaze of Albus Dumbledore. 

“I hope you are able to return soon Mr. Potter, with good news of course.” 

“Thank you Professor Dumbledore, sir, I hope so too.” 

“A remarkable young lady your mother was James. I remember her as a student from my early teaching days. Incredibly bright and if should be so bold, more feisty that the filibusters no heat fireworks you and Sirius let off in the examination hall in your third year.” 

For the first time in a very long time James felt his face move into a half smile. 

“I believe it,” he said, “But how did you know about that?” 

   Dumbledore smiled thoughtfully but before he could reply the hairpin on his desk was glowing blue. James latched onto his trunk before reaching for the glowing pin. He felt a hook behind his navel and suddenly he was falling too quickly. Still he landed with relative ease in the dark street. A lone street lamp glowed orange over a collection of bins a few meters away from the red brick building he was now standing in front of. 

   Purge and Dowse Ltd never would have caught James’ attention normally. The red brick building didn’t look too dingy and the windows were fairly clean. The bellbottomed mannequins with giant eyelashes freaked him out a little though. He stepped closer to the window. A mannequin in a green beret turned her head towards him, as though she was listening intently through the glass. Though, James reminded himself that is precisely what she was doing.

“Dorea Potter, second floor?” he whispered to her.  
The mannequin nodded, glanced at the front door and then back to James. He dragged his trunk behind him as he pushed his way through the double doors of St. Mungo’s.

  The curtains were drawn around her when he entered her ward. Even his imagination could not have prepared him for what was inside. He knew she was sick but he had never realized how it would change her. His mother, the formidable sharp tongued Dorea Potter from the notorious house of Black was lying withered and worn in her hospital bed. She cheeks were hollow and her skin held an eerie blue tinge. Her eyes opened wearily as he stepped towards her and touched her hand. 

“Oh my James” she smiled up at him, the lines etched into her face new and unfamiliar. 

“Mum...” was all he could manage in return. 

“Oh James, it isn’t so bad. Well, no, I mean I have never felt so terribly unwell but you certainly are a sight for sore eyes. Oh and are my eyes sore.” She chuckled lightly, gripping his hand feebly. 

“Mum, what happened? Aren’t they giving you any healing therapy?” 

“Oh goodness, they haven’t even any idea what is making me so ill. I must have contracted something on holiday but I haven’t the faintest idea how. No healing charms or potions have done any good I’m afraid. The magic is disappearing from me one day at a time. I can’t so much as perform a simple shield charm these days.” 

James instinctively reached his left hand behind his head, ruffling his untidy black hair. She noticed and her face softened, no longer trying to put on a brave face for her only son. 

“You do really miss him, don’t you?” 

“What are you talking about mum?” 

“Your hair ruffling” she smiled up at him, “I remember that so well about him. I’d spend ages trying to get your hair sleeked and proper and then the next moment he would be ruffling it up on me.” 

She laughed at the memory. 

“He always did it when he was proud of you, you know,” she laughed, “It was so often he was that I just stopped trying to keep your hair smooth.” 

“Do you miss him too?” he said settling himself in a chair by her bedside. 

She seemed to be thinking for a moment before taking her time to reply. 

“Every day,” she said simply. “He was the most incredible person I’d ever met. I really can’t imagine what my life would have been like without him. Though, if you’d know us at Hogwarts you never would have guessed it.” 

“What do you mean? I thought you got together at Hogwarts?” 

“Oh no! We detested each other. I was in Slytherin and a Black and I thought he was just a loud obnoxious Gryffindor to roll my eyes at. Though, in retrospect I was probably the atrocious one at the time. It took some time for me to get out of the Black family mindset. He helped in getting that started. Before I met him I hardly even questioned it. It wasn’t till I was working at the ministry quite a few years later that I saw him again after Hogwarts- and thank goodness I did! I would have missed out on so much otherwise.”

Her voice trailed off towards the end before James encouraged her to go back to sleep. 

  Several days passed by with James sitting at his mother’s bedside and holding her hand. Strangely enough, the he didn’t fully appreciate it at the time; he learned more about his parents in those days by her bedside than he had in the last 17 years. If only he had known how little time she really had left he may understood just how important the moments were.

  It was late and outside winter was making one last half hearted attempt at snow. Thick flakes were falling outside the window, illuminated for a moment under the orange glare of the street lamp before melting on the wet pavement below. James was seated once again beside his mother and holding a scalding cup of peppermint tea. 

“It was the strangest thing...I mean I wasn’t exactly young, let’s be honest but one day we just decide on it. One day, after years of working and travelling the globe together we just decided we wanted a child. I’m so glad we did too.” 

“Well, I hope so because you can’t get rid of me now.” “Oh, I never would,” she yawned sleepily, “you were our greatest adventure.” 

“Thanks mum.” 

“Just don’t wait as long as I did, okay? You need to be able to spend as much time with them as possible because you never know how long you will have.”

Her grip slackened on his hand and her eyes became unfocused. Her voice seemed far away and she seemed to be speaking almost to the ceiling instead of him.

“He was always so proud of you, you know. You do so remind me of him. It has been more than two years now without him and sometimes I can still see him hiding behind your eyes when you smile. I know I may not have said it as much as I should have when you were growing up but I do love you so very much” she finished, sighing heavily. 

“I love you too, Mum.”

  Her eyes fluttered for a moment before closing entirely. Her pulse and breathing were steady but otherwise she gave no indication of life. Her skin was cool and blue and felt like tissue paper. Her hair was reduced to simple blonde wisps and the new lines on her face aged her a hundred years.

   There was no surprise in the morning to find her hands cold and lifeless. She had gone sometime during the night to a place James couldn’t see and couldn’t follow. They were both gone there now, his mum and dad. Gone and so far out of his reach. He suddenly felt the gaping hole his stomach and began to worry if he would ever be able to get rid of the lonely feeling settling inside him. 

****  
“And the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can't replace When you love someone, but it goes to waste Could it be worse?” – _Fix You_ by Coldplay

**A/N- So it has been awhile. I hope people like how this chapter turned out. I mean we know James & Lily`s parents were not murdered (if I`m remembering JKR correctly) and if you believe that the Charlus Potter and Dorea Black on the Black family tree are James' parents are both dead before he finishes at Hogwarts. Anyway, I'm quite happy with it My sister was not too pleased because "that's just not how she imagines James' parents dying." but hopefully you like it. I also like to think the Dorea Black was this fiesty Black who fell in love and changed but you know, maybe that's just me.  I should also mention that, as always, reviews of any kind are always appreciated and loved. Thanks for reading:)**

 


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